"In The End"
by Bandbabe

Summary: Wonky Max POV I wrote on a whim because I'm not the biggest fan of the aliens right now.
Author's Note: The lyrics are from "In The End" by Linkin Park.
Disclaimer: Roswell is not mine!

One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme to explain in due time
All I know

We lost. Maybe it was fate. Since the day we were born we were destined to lose. We had all the right ingredients for success, but somehow it never quite worked out. I had always held back. I was too afraid to take a chance and to follow my instincts. They were scary to me. Too alien, too uncomfortable. I wasn't the leader I should have been. Isabel, like me needed to be in control too much to follow the road less traveled. The path that was laid out for us. And she never seeked out the answers for herself. She was too much of a follower. Michael had the heart of warrior. Of the three of us, I would of thought he would have been most likely succeed. But somewhere along the way the fire that he possessed burnt out. Like me, he found it easier to focus on life on Earth.

Time is a valuable thing
Watch pass by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

There were so many opportunities that we missed. We had so many chances to do the right thing. I guess we were a little bit selfish and a little bit scared. Our first big break was Nasedo. He was from our home world. There were so many questions I could have asked him but I didn't. He died before I could bring myself to ask a single important question. The alien book was another. For so many months it was forgotten, neglected, ignored. Larek. He was an ally. He would have answered our questions. But they were never asked.

By far the most untapped resource was Tess.

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watched the time go right out the window

I waited too long to explore my past. To ask for her help. Her powers were the most advanced of all of us. What she learned from Nasedo she could of taught us. She would have jumped on the chance. But we alienated her from us, for being too alien. How ironic.

Tried to hold on
Didn't even know
Wasted it all to
Watch you go

She was my mate. The other half of me. Yet, I treated her like a stranger. I ignored her. I ignored me. It was too risky to trust her. I didn't want to let her in. Then I would have deal with me. All of me. Strange as it sounds, I liked the way it was before she came because I liked to pretend I wasn't an alien. Not trusting her was the biggest mistake of my life.

I kept everything inside
And though I tried
It all fell apart

If keep on thinking of all these "what ifs". What if I let her in? Would I have known Kavar was her brother? Would I have known he'd do anything to get her back? Would I have known being the 'royal four' means only the four of us have access to the most powerful and mysterious force in the universe - the granolith? Would I have sent my queen and my son along with the granolith to my enemy? Would I be dying now?

What it meant to be
Will eventually
Become a memory
Of a time I tried so hard

In the end we lose. Maybe its fate. Or maybe it just sounds better that way...

And got so far
But in the end it doesn't really matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end it doesn't really matter


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