My name's Robert Jensen. Awhile back it seemed like I had nothing to live for. Now it's very weird and very sad I'm writing about Ryan. Ryan was my best friend. She was full of life. Had one goal all her life. She never wanted to be doctor or a movie star. She just wanted to help people. She helped me.

When we started high school things began changed. Ryan was suddenly popular and I, well wasn't. She had always been a nice person, kind and sweet but people began to take notice. Of course it helped she matured over the summer. She still remained a friend to me, always true, but I withdrew. I started to keep to myself more and resented her. I became envious of her. Her grades, her friends, her family life, and her boyfriend.

One day it all snowballed. We had this big fight and I immediately regretted it. I ruined the best relationship in my life. My best friend since the third grade. The next few weeks I avoided her. She tried to approach me but I felt so bad about all the things I said. Without Ryan I felt isolated and alone. I had no one to turn to. No one loved me, I would think as I walked along a busy highway at night. One morning I woke up and I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I decided to "leave" that night. I went to school numb. I cut seventh period and went looking for Ryan. Seventh was her study period. I found her in the library with a group of her new friends. I stopped at her table.

"Hey Ryan," I said.

"Robby?" she turned to her friends and said, "Hey, you guys I'll be right back." She then got up and walked towards me. "Hey, what's new," she said in a happy tone.

I didn't smile. I said, "I want you to know you're the most important person in my life." We were walking down the hall now.

She was silent for a few seconds then asked, "Robby are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I said. She gave me this worried look. She knew I was lying through my teeth.

"Robby, wait a second," she said. We stopped. She starred in to my eyes, almost as if she was reading a book. She asked me why I was acting strange just with that look. My eyes watered. I sniffled.

"Ryan, I'm going away. I just..." I sobbed a little more. "I can't do this anymore. Nobody cares. I just feel so alone," I said, crying. She gave me a hug. By this time she was crying too.

"How could you think that for a second, Robby? I love you. I'll always be there for you," she said. Those words were like a Band-Aid to my wound.

"I love you too," I said.

We skipped the rest of the day.

Ryan was my best friend in the world. If I didn't have her I wouldn't be here today. Ryan isn't here today, though. The cancer got her. Today I work as a guidance counselor at a local high school. Every shooting star reminds me of Ryan. The hope and dreams of potential so bright.

Robert Jensen (age 24)